I want to thank all of those people both here and on my MySpace list who had expressed concern over my mother's condition since she was admitted to the hospital back in August. I also want to thank those who have sent me their condolences upon hearing the news of her passing. Your words have brought much comfort to me at a very difficult time. The range of emotions from hour to hour never seem to balance out, but I am surrounded by wonderful people both in person and online who have been so compassionate and understanding.

For those who had not ever met my mother or heard much about her aside from my bouts of frustration, she was, indeed, a very strong and loving woman. Simply looking around me, I am surrounded by evidence of her love and sense of humor. A stack of greeting cards from years gone by, Star Wars memorabilia on every shelf, emails containing cartoons or the latest news, books and music given for birthdays or holidays or "just because". One of the greatest joys she ever had was giving to others, even when it went well beyond her financial means. She took great pleasure in being able to read a person and find that one thing that she knew would make him or her smile. Even now, having begun to sort through her belongings at the house, we have stumbled across unsent greeting cards and gifts that would have eventually made their way to one of us kids had she had the opportunity to send them out.

An avid Star Trek fan, my mother has a collection of books and memorabilia the average Trekkie (Trekker? She never said if she preferred one name over another) might only dream about. The fact that gets me still is that she actually read each and every one of the books on the shelves. She loved the Star Trek universe and the philosophies it appears to represent. One of her happiest moments, despite her health really beginning to affect her and me not always being in a pleasant mood, was being able to attend Dragon*Con with us in 2005 and seeing some of her favorite actors from ST:TNG. One of my last pictures of her is from DC2005 where she is holding up a bag which read "Yes I'm a Trekkie and, no, I don't live with my parents." She just thought that was one of the funniest things. I've kept that picture on my camera phone since that day and it has always made me smile. In addition, my mother was a part of the USS HEPHAESTUS in Birmingham and had gone so far as to take her exams to promote her up to Ensign within Starfleet Medical. She was an R.N. for many years, so it only made sense to her that she carry that along into her involvement with her favorite pastime. The members of the USS HEPHAESTUS have to be some of the nicest people in the world, as she never stopped singing their praises and their willingness to help her to attend the monthly meetings and social events. In addition to the world of Star Trek, some of mom's other passions included Coca-Cola, James Bond, and more recently Firefly.

In 2004, she completed many hours of schoolwork and earned a Bachelors of Science in Social Work at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. It was an achievement of which she was very proud and my sister is following her footsteps in working towards a degree in the same field.

There is, of course, so much more that can be told about her. Far too much to be represented in a single journal entry. I imagine this small moment of clarity I've found and in which I am able to write, will soon disappear again as I go through the next round of emotions. I felt, though, looking back on things I've said and written, that so much had focused on her illness and my own frustrations. It did not represent some of those wonderful odd and funny things which made her who she was. She did drive me absolutely crazy at times, but she really loved us kids and I have some fantastic memories that I wish, now, had bubbled to the surface of my mind more often over the past few years (like her sometimes surprisingly not always wholesome sense of humor "Did you just say what I thought you said, Mom?"). I do not think, though, that she would want me to dwell on that which makes me feel guilty or upset. She is free of pain and free from the restraints of the hospital and her own body. I sincerely hope that she is now hanging out with Gene Roddenberry, DeForest Kelley, and James Doohan somewhere discussing the finer points of all of our "ongoing missions".

If anything "good" can come of this, it is that my Dad, my brother Chris, my sister Erica, and I are all a little bit closer, not that we were really that distant from each other to begin with, really. We met up in Davenport's Pizza place yesterday afternoon (over the years it has become a regular family meeting place when most or all of the family could actually get in the same place at the same time) and as obvious and painful as the void was that Mom truly wasn't with us anymore, I think it was clear that we still had a lot of support in one form or another from each other. As well, I have the additional family support and caring from Michael and Bennie. They have been there for me through all the ups and downs and I love them so much for it.

Mom's service will be held this Saturday in Homewood. Something that I don't look forward to, but something we need in order to bring, to some degree, a sense of closure so that we may move onward.

We love you, Mom, and we miss you.

Let us begin with the airing of grievances. After that, the feats of strength shall commence...

*Happy Birthday, Kenn!*

:)

And I thought us cat owners were a bit wonky...

http://beedogs.com/index.htm

Aye, just for me friend Kenn, it be Talk like a Pirate Day, matey! So me hearties, give us a mighty Arrr and a Yarrr and a bottle of rum!!


ARRRRRR